39 week appointment

We had our appointment yesterday with Catherine and she thinks I'm getting ready to have this baby soon. Here are her clues:
a: I keep having hot flashes (hormones)
b: I'm feeling much more grumpy than usual (hormones)
c: Myles thinks I'm acting like I'm PMSing (hormones)
d: I'm not really sleeping as well anymore
e: the baby's head is tucked WAY down in there now.

I don't want to feel hormonal. I want to go into Labor in a great mood with my head on my shoulders straight! I guess we don't really get to choose these things though, and it's the hormones that make labor begin, so it's going to be up to me (and my birth team) to keep spirits high and not be a grump. I don't think I'm really that bad, even when I am grumpy, so we will be okay. We stil have 5 days until my actual due date, although the 18 week ultrasound re-predicted for it to be today...I guess we will see!? I could go on like this for almost 3 more weeks, so I'm not going to get anxious. It's just really weird having no idea when it's going to happen, but that it might happen anytime.

38 and a half weeks

I'm starting to look a little tired I think. Myles took these pictures today (and one last night). I think we are done growing for now, this baby is going to have to fit out some how!!!

38 weeks and we have our Glider!!

Thank you so MUCH to Myles mom Joan, we got the glider and ottoman that we really really wanted. We special ordered it so that the wood and fabric would be of our choice, and it looks so good! The glider is extra tall and comfy, so you can basically sleep in it if you want to. It also reclines which seems to be a huge bonus. I know we will spend hours upon hours in that chair, and I'm so thankful to have it!

As for me and how I'm feeling? I'm feeling really good. It has seriously been the most beautiful Autumn that I can remember (other than the one I spent in the Czech Republic). Portland is so beautiful, our yard is amazing. I'm pretty lazy now that I don't have to work...usually staying in bed until 10 or 11 and then not doing much after that either. Yesterday I went to the outlet mall to get some last minute baby stuff I thought we needed...but they are more expensive than the normal stores so I didn't get much. It's hard to stand up for more than about 15 to 20 minutes at a time, although I know the exercise is good. I'm still doing prenatal yoga on Sundays. It helps a lot, especially with bonding with the baby...and centering my own mind and self for labor and parenthood. I hope I can continue to grow in my yoga practice, and it doesn't get left behind once I'm a mommy.

Today I'm washing all of the baby stuff. Blankets are in there right now, and then I'll start on the clothes. I don't know what I will have to do once everything is all ready except for wait. I don't want to be inpatient, so I'm trying to put off what I can while I can =)

Yay for America

Yesterday was election day and I was pretty nervous all day. It's amazing how one day can change history, and the way our country is viewed forever. My dad is VERY Republican, so that makes discussing any of this with him very hard. As soon as it was announced that Obama had won enough electoral votes and was going to be our next president, fireworks started going off all over our neighborhood. Families came out into the street banging pots and pans and yelling Obama's name. It was simply amazing to feel like such a part of something so big. I must say I have never felt so much weight be lifted from my shoulders, and my spirit when I found out that Obama has won. And not only won, but by a lot. It gives me faith in this country. It makes me know that I will feel safe to travel the world again without people wondering what is wrong with our country, and why we have become what we have. It gives me faith that the planet might get another chance before the oil industry destroys everything...that my baby might get a chance at fresh air and water for it's lifetime. Most of all it makes me proud to bring a baby into a world where racism has a chance at ending. My baby won't know a world where there was never a black president. It makes me feel relief for the family's who have children fighting an endless war. It makes me happy to know that the richest of the rich that have been getting a free ride for the past 8 years are finally going to have to cough up some taxes and pay their share of the fortune that this country is able to create. That the gap between the rich and poverty might start to shrink a little so that we don't have a class system similar to Mexico, and other countries with extremely corrupt governments. I feel like our country is young again, and there will be a new excitement for what we can do, and options that we have. Elderly people might have a chance to afford their medical costs again, and the rest of the world will get to see that it's not us....not the people, but the government that has done so much harm to the entire world. We now have to pay for it...but at least there is an end in sight. I'm glad to see that the people that voted Bush into his second term have realized the mistakes he has made, and there are enough of them ashamed of their past decision to try to make things right again. Leaving office with the lowest approval rating of any president since they have kept track is a disgrace, and I hope he has to pay, either here on our earth, or up in his heaven.

Halloween at our house - it's Autumn!!

Another home visit and Refinance!!

Today we had our home visit with Catherine, our other midwife. It was really relaxing being at home, and I was glad to be able to talk about the contractions I've been having since Monday, as well as labor and where we will set up the birth pool ect. She wanted to check my cervix to see if I was dialiating, and found that I am dialated about 1 cm and about 50% effaced. She said that I'm not in "pre labor", but it sounds like this baby might come a little early...maybe. The baby's head is down in my pelvis now, she said at about a -2 station. Everything looks good and seems to be moving along, so we will be parents before we know it! Myles video taped the heart beat so you can hear it!! This is me laying on my bed while Catherine listens and counts the beats. After the appointment we went to sign the papers on the refinance on our house! We have been working on it since August. I learned so much when we bought our house, so did lots of research and talked to a LOT of lenders, before we decided to go with our very own credit union. We landed are GREAT interest rate and a fixed loan so everything is safe now...and our payments even went down a little! We have our property taxes paid for the year, as well as our home owners insurance...so the ducks are in a row finally!! One less thing to worry about =)

Revival Road

Tim Barry from Avail, Chuck Ragan from Hot Water Music, Austin Lucas, Ben Nichols from Lucero and John Ghaunt


We went to see some of our favorite musicians EVER play music together at an amazing show at the Hawthorne Theater tonight. It really was one of the best shows ever, and lasted over 4 hours straight with no breaks between! They all took turns, and played a bunch of songs together as well...amazing! I found a place to sit right in front of the stage so I didn't have to stand up, but was clapping and dancing in my seat and began to get braxton hicks contractions. Maybe it was my singing?? Either way, the contractions lasted all night, coming about every 10 minutes and sometimes even less! I really thought labor was starting in the middle of the night. The next day they continued all day, but never got any stronger, so it must just be practice labor. This baby might be here before it's due date...I'm doubting now that I will make it to Grandpa's birthday on November 24th, which I was really wishing for. I know it's the baby's choice and will be here when it's ready =)

Baby's room -a work in progress

Yesterday Ezra and Frances came over to help Myles move some of the baby furniture into the room. The furniture looks even more beautiful than it did in the store. We are so lucky that my dad helped us out with the cost of it. It's absolutely perfect! We are waiting to put the crib in until we actually need it...as we plan on having baby with us for a while. For now we are keeping the computer desk in here with everything else. The room feels really small, but it's nice to have a good place to put everything. We still need to figure out what will go on the walls and that kind of stuff, but you can get an idea of the changes.

Here is the before picture -


And the current pictures -

Friday Nights these days

Here is a little video Myles made last night.

Yoga philosophy

I was talking to my father in law about religion via email today, and it reminded me of this great website from a yogi I was really lucky to take one class with before I was pregnant. That one class taught me so much physically about my poses (it was mysore style, which is pretty much one on one), and later taught me a lot about the philosophy of ashtanga yoga as well because I looked up his website. I have a link to the site here if you want to get more info on him or on this type of yoga. Here is my favorite part of the site:

Ashtanga yoga is the yoga of Patanjali. As a scientific method of self discovery we resolve to quiet the fluctuations of the mind in order for consciousness to reflect pure awareness back at itself and we can discover our original state, pure, eternal and without attributes. The skillful means by which Patanjali articulated a path, or sadhana, is comprised of eight limbs in order to give structure to guide us on our journey into the source, or the origin of all things. They are yama (ethical principles), niyama (introspective practices to heighten awareness), asana (the physical postures), pranayama (control of the life force through the breath), pratyahara (sense withdrawal), dharana (concentration), dhyana (meditation), and samadhi, which is when we are again integrated into the whole and yoked to the eternal energy which dwells within us all.

In the lineage of yoga that has become closely associated with Ashtanga Yoga, asanas are taught to the aspirant as a means by which the initial stages of a shift in consciousness can be experienced. As we practice the asanas our outlook on life starts to change and much of the confusion and lack of clarity that had hitherto been the predominant patterns of our lives, start changing as we start to see that all phenomena are in fact constantly changing, impermanent, and ultimately unsatisfactory. It is for this reason that the confusion that we live in results in suffering as we try constantly to grasp and cling to something that cannot stay the way it is, and this includes our ideas about who and what we are. It becomes clear to us that our bodies are subject to change, which we can see through increased strength and flexibility, or conversely in growing older or ill. We also start to see that mood swings can alter our experience of being in our bodies and in this way a connection between the body and the mind is established. It is at this stage that we can start to ask ourselves what the mind, or consciousness, really is.

Our inability to grasp who we are, and what it is that we need in order to live a life without suffering, is predicated upon the ignorance (avidya) that draws a veil over the natural order of things. Consciousness, through which we experience all there is to experience (through the sense organs), can be seen to fluctuate just like simple things in nature does all around us, and we realize that that which ultimately observes all of these shifts is constant, eternal, available every moment and ever present. Deep within this understanding, which comes from within the stillness of a peaceful and quite mind where the fluctuations of consciousness becomes settled, there is the realization that consciousness is separate from pure awareness, and that with which we had always identified is in fact not who we truly are. Our thoughts and emotions do not actually constitute who we truly are. It is not the thinking of a thought or the experiencing of an emotional state which contribute to the feeling of being here in the present moment. In fact upon closer investigation one discovers that thoughts and emotions are ever changing and often actually distract us from being truly present in the moment. So there must be something deeper down below the surface of these ever changing attributes where the source of consciousness itself resides. This abode is pure awareness iteslf, the discovery of which brings us back to ourselves and our purpose in living life becomes fulfilled.

In our asana practice (which is the third limb) we start with the sun salutation out of which all the subsequent asanas flow. They are beautifully strung together like a mala (thread), woven on the breath which is the life force (prana) of all creation. To deepen our understanding we use gaze points (drishtis) to keep the mind from wandering and in this way we get our first taste of concentration, which can lead us to the meditative state of pure awareness. The asana practice builds heat (tapas) which facilitates the experience of purification (sauca); a necessary component in clearing away the patterns of our consciousness in which we have become established (samskaras). These patterns can form something like a groove in which we end up living, repeating our same thoughts, obsessions, desires and fears, ultimately keeping ourselves from reaching our highest potential. This form of "habit energy" is what we become aware of, allowing us to get closer to the experience of seeing things the way they truly are. Out of the asana practice our understanding is deepened of the yamas and the niyamas, the first two limbs.


The yamas are as follows:

ahimsa - not harming
satya - truthfulness
asteya - not stealing
brahmacarya - right action
aparigraha - not grabbing


The niyamas are as follows:

sauca - purification
santosha - contentment
tapas - intense practice/discipline/heat
svadhyaya - self study
isvara-pranidhana - surrendering to the ideal of pure awareness


Pranayama practice follows when the aspirant has shown proficiency in the asanas. The groundwork has then been prepared for entering upon the path of the higher limbs, where we draw deeper into the introspective qualities that arise out of looking into the heart and opening the door to the world of spiritual mysticism.

Politics - I really like this article

A succinct editorial from Jonathan Freedland of the British newspaper The Guardian on the upcoming US election.

'If Sarah Palin defies the conventional wisdom that says elections are determined by the top of the ticket, and somehow wins this for McCain, what will be the reaction? Yes, blue-state America will go into mourning once again, feeling estranged in its own country. A generation of young Americans - who back Obama in big numbers - will turn cynical, concluding that politics doesn't work after all. And, most depressing, many African-Americans will decide that if even Barack Obama with all his conspicuous gifts could not win, then no black man can ever be elected president.

But what of the rest of the world? This is the reaction I fear most. For Obama has stirred an excitement around the globe unmatched by any American politician in living memory. Polling in Germany , France , Britain and Russia shows that Obama would win by whopping majorities, with the pattern repeated in Africa, Asia, the Middle East and Latin America. IfNovember 4 were a global ballot, Obama would win it handsomely. If the free world could choose its leader, it would be Barack Obama.

The crowd of 200,000 that rallied to hear him in Berlin in July did so not only because of his charisma, but also because they know he, like the majority of the world's population, opposed the Iraq war. McCain supported it, peddling the lie that Saddam was linked to 9/11.

Non-Americans sense that Obama will not ride roughshod over the international system but will treat alliances and global institutions seriously: McCain wants to bypass the United Nations in favour of a US-friendly League of Democracies. McCain might talk a good game on climate change, but a repeated floor chant at the Republican convention was 'Drill, baby, drill!', as if the solution to global warming were not a radical rethink of the US's entire energy system but more offshore oil rigs.

If Americans choose McCain, they will be turning their back on the rest of the world, choosing to show us four more years of the Bush-Cheney finger. And I predict a deeply unpleasant shift.

Until now, anti-Americanism has been exaggerated and much misunderstood: outside a leftist hardcore, it has mostly been anti-Bushism, opposition to this specific administration. But if McCain wins in November, that might well change.

Suddenly Europeans and others will conclude that their dispute is with not only one ruling clique, but Americans themselves. For it will have been the American people, not the politicians, who will have passed up a once-in-a-generation chance for a fresh start - a fresh start the world is yearning for.

And the manner of that decision will matter, too. If it is deemed to have been about race - that Obama was rejected because of his colour - the world's verdict will be harsh. In that circumstance, Slate's Jacob Weisberg wrote recently ,international opinion would conclude that 'the United States had its day, but in the end couldn't put its own self-interest ahead of its crazy irrationality over race'.

Even if it's not ethnic prejudice, but some other aspect of the culture wars, that proves decisive, the point still holds. For America to make a decision as grave as this one - while the planet boils and with the US fighting two wars - on the trivial basis that a hockey mom is likable and seems down to earth, would be to convey a lack of seriousness, a fleeing from
reality, that does indeed suggest a nation in, to quote Weisberg, 'historical decline'. Let's not forget, McCain's campaign manager boasts that this election is 'not about the issues.'

Of course I know that even to mention Obama's support around the world is to hurt him. Incredibly, that large Berlin crowd damaged Obama at home, branding him the 'candidate of Europe' and making him seem less of a patriotic American. But what does that say about today's America , that the world's esteem is now unwanted? If Americans reject Obama, they will be sending the clearest possible message to the rest of us - and, make no mistake, we shall hear it.'

Sickie poo's

Myles has been sick with a bad cold for a few days, and this morning I was feeling extra tired and my throat was sore so I called into work as well. I know I need to work because I only have a week to go, and the money will help...but I don't want to take any risks. I can't imagine going through labor AND having a bad cold to deal with!! Seeing Myles sick has made me realize the strength that I really do have, and we as woman have while we are pregnant. I think I must have become quite used to the uncomfortableness of having someone inside of me, pressing on my every side, not to mention the nausia and everything else. I think I've delt with this really good and am proud to know that I am strong. I just hope my labor goes the same way. I'm sucking on slippery elm to see if it helps my throat, and it doesn't much feel like anything. I wonder if it's really supposed to be for indigestion?? I'm going to drink a bunch of tea and lay around. I have a midwife appointment at 4:30 today and think I will have to get my strep B test done. I'm not very excited about that.

Babies first outfit

While going over our list of things to have ready for the birth I saw that they recommended having baby's first outfit all ready. I then realized that we have a LOT of baby clothes already, but I had no idea what that very first outfit should be. This made me think that I wanted something special. I know that is funny.... but I think it's an important outfit so I wanted to find something good. I went to the baby store called Mother Natures to get some unbleached cloth diapers and found the outfit as well. I guess it's basically a nightgown, but it's all organic cotton and so tiny and cute. I can't believe it will fit our baby, but it says up to 10 pounds, so I guess it should. While I was there I locked my keys in my car, so spent about two hours getting them out with a coat hanger. There were so many people who stopped to try and help me, but in the end I was able to do it myself. Here is what I picked out for baby to wear.





And here is what Myles and the cats were doing while I was gone =)

6 hour days

Today I started to only work 6 hour days thank you so much to my midwife Nora. She felt I was suffering from "pregnancy fatigue" and wrote a letter to my work. Before I was working from 9:30 - 6 and was tired all of the time. Now I have to come in at 8, which is a bit early for me =)...however I get to leave at 2:30 which really helps. I come home and rest on the couch and try to take a nap everyday. It's hard to sleep because I found this show called "bringing baby home" that's about the first 36 hours with a new baby at home. I can't belive that will be our life here soon! The fall weather has begun and the trees are starting to change. We have had a little bit of rain and it's cooling off. It's going to be a cozy winter and I think we are all hoping for lots of snow this year.

Baby Shower number 2

Today my friends from Avanti got together with my friends from Kaiser and put together a really fun day! We had a baby shower at Lauries beautiful house in SE Portland, put on by my friends Rebecca and Tammy. It was a really fun group of people, everyone got along really well and I got lots of goodies!! Here are some highlights.



Me and the cake!


Yummy food


Beautiful Laurie and Mandy and I


Tammy with Corey and Tiffannee Bean!!


Me and Keishia with her daughter Romani



Our old neighbors that we miss!

First home visit

Today our midwife Nora made her first visit to our home for a prenatal visit. It was fun yet a bit akward to have her at our house. We did all of the same things, she brought a scale and a cup for me to pee in =) The baby is still head down which is really good. I'm going to make another try at prenatal vitamins, even though they all make me so sick!! I am growing at the right rate. When I asked her how big she thinks our baby will be she said "somewhere between seven and eight and a half pounds". Is it just me, or is 8 and a half pounds giant? I can't wait to see this lil person!! I'm starting to get really excited.

"Birth Kit"

This weekend we went shopping and got things all together for our "birth kit". I thought it would be fun to list the items out here. Including what we actually bought as well. In addition to all of this, the midwifes also sold us a kit for about $38 that includes things like rubber gloves, giant pads, a snot sucker, and other medical supplies that they will neeed. We got a big plastic tub to put everything in, so it's all ready to go now.
1 shower curtain liner (we bought two)
1 box of large sanitary napkins (I bought a few boxes of different sizes)
1 digital thermometer with covers
1 roll of paper towels
1 box of tissue
4-6 pillows (we didn't buy any but can use the ones we have)
4 large towles (we got some cheap ones that can get gross stuff on them)
6 washclothes
6 washed cotton receiving blankets (we still need to get a few more of these!)
1 large cardboard box for garbage
2 large garbage bags, one for garbage, one for laundry
1 quart plastic container with lid for the placenta (myles made sure it's air proof)
Clean sheets and pillow cases
Cloth or disposable diapers and pins (we need to order the service still. We got a pack of disposables because it sounds like they are better with the first poops)
Cotton baby clothes (lay out whatever you wish to dress teh baby in after birth)

And for the birth pool/tub:
A fish net to scoop out gross stuff - use your imagination here.
A lead free hose
Faucet addaptor (which I got the wrong size and need to exchange)
Simple siphon to use to drain the pool.

I love to knit baby stuff!

These are little wolly diaper soakers, to be worn over cloth diapers!


Booties!!

My first birth...almost

Today I got to see an amazing woman in labor. She so gracefully agreed to allow me there to do my best attempt at supporting her. I think it changed my life. It was her third baby, born without an epidural. She endured contractions strenghtened by Pitocin, which I'm sure were far stronger than anything natural. Unfortunately I stepped out to get food really quick, and missed the actual birth in the 40 minutes or so that I was gone. I returned to find a momma nursing her new baby. A baby so very alert and aware of the outside world, getting the chance to see it without a drug altered beginning. It was absolutely Beautiful!!! She gave me strength, and I thank her for that.

Wiggle worm

Last week was suposably the peak of the baby's movment in my belly. I would have to say that is correct. The baby was moving so much, and at the midwife appointment there was an entire foot or something that stuck out. It was amazing. This week the movments seem more like a rolling feeling, less like a poking. I've noticed hicupps a few times every day and that is really cute. One morning when I was still in bed I could feel the back right on the edge and it was hiccuping and I started to try to rub it's back and it stopped! I'm so excited to see what the baby is going to look like. I can't believe it's really real!