Day 7 - Grandpa's Birthday

Today would have been my Grandpa's Birthday, if he were still alive. His birthday is the 24th of November, and mine the 29th, so I grew up celebrating our birthdays together along with Thanksgiving. I think this really made me have a special bond with my grandpa. He was so easy to talk to about anything and always gave me the best advise. He is one of the reasons that we decided to get married in Ireland. He told me to do what we really wanted to do because the wedding was about Myles and I, and who cared what everyone else wanted us to do. I'm glad he helped me make up my mind, and I don't regret our decision for a second. I just wish my grandpa was here to meet Adelaide. I think he'd be so excited to meet her, I can just imagine him holding her. She was named after his great- grandmother in honor of him and his mother as well.

Today Adelaide and I tried to stay in bed all day. All of my stitches below are really sore and I'm not really able to sit, so I need to keep laying down so I can rest and heal. At the end of the day Adelaide's belly button finally fell off! Looks like we might get a bath tomorrow!

Day 6

Today we woke up in our own bed!! I think I slept better. It's hard to sleep when you have a brand new baby. I'm constantly having to check to be sure she is breathing, that she is warm enough, that the covers are not anywhere near her face. She loves to snuggle, and I love snuggling with her! Her skin is peeling in random places, and really bad on the tops of her feet and her hands. Catherine says it's because she is living in the air now instead of in the water. We have been rubbing olive oil all over to moisturize her and it works really good. I cleaned her belly button again today. I really hope it falls off soon so I can take a bath with her. I want to see if she likes the tub and water.

Today my friend Rebecca came by to meet Adelaide and brought her a really warm fuzzy baby towel that she made for her. It was nice to see her and show off the baby, although all she really does is sleep and look cute!

5th Day with Adelaide

Today Regina came back for our 5 day check up. We still haven't left the bedroom where Adelaide was born, much less the bed except to use the bathroom. Adelaide is now 8 lbs and 12 oz!! Regina says we don't have to wake her up to feed her anymore. We also decided to have her tongue clipped because she was slightly tongue tied. It wasn't really affecting her feeding, but we don't want to take any chances. Her tongue is definitely still a little heart shaped. Myles was tongue tied and had to have his tongue clipped at birth as well. It didn't really hurt Adelaide, but I cried because I was afraid it was going to hurt her and had to hold her. Regina used these GIANT sterile sizors to do it! We also learned how to clean out her belly button, it was getting stinky!! This is also the day we finally left the "nest". We came out to the living room to rock in the glider chair, and then moved up to our bedroom to sleep. It was really nice to get in my own bed, but sad that the "nesting" part was over. We made a new nest upstairs. I also soaked in a bath and tried to check out my stitches down below. It's still really hard to stand, and I can't really sit, I have to lay or recline. I hope this heals fast!

Day 4

Today the milk came in!!! Now Adelaide really gets to fill up her belly. So far I am feeling good, no engorgement yet. I just feed the baby constantly. She likes to eat a lot which helps me not feel "too full" of milk! Look out Pamela Anderson, here I come!

Day 3

They say the baby might turn yellow on day 3 because of jaundice. Adelaide did have a slight yellow hue, but nothing bad. She has been nursing so well, I'm so glad that we are lucky enough not to have any problems with her feedings. She eats great and poops great, what else could we ask for.

Random afterthoughts of the birth - memories

I remember the neighbor Billie-Jean came over in the dark to return our cat carier. Myles told her I was in labor - and she told him "good luck with that". I remember the feeling of the dopplar on my pubic bone trying to hear the baby's heartbeat while I was pushing and having contractions. It was hard for them to hear through my pelvis bones and a little scary for both me and Myles. I know that my birth was tramatizing for me and very scary, but am forgetting a lot of that part now that it's 3 days later.

I remember at one point Catherine had me reach back and feel the baby's head while I was pushing, right as she was crowning. Her head felt really slimy and veiny - I later found out it was because the water bag was broken and sticking to her head. I pooped again right before Kathleen got here, so that is why I thought I still needed to use the bathroom when Adelaide was being born. It was really just her head pressing on those same nerves.

I just remember pushing, yelling that strange sound of pushing and felt like I was turning into a wild animal. The primal sounds of birth have stayed in my head for days. Myles and Catherine both say it wasn't that loud, but it feels to me like the loudest I have ever yelled. Myles had a wet washcloth for me to bite on, that was SO Helpful! Being on my hands and knees was tiring and hard, my legs were tired and sore from holding me up throughout the labor, and my arms as well. My shoulders were sore from yoga too, and it was so hard to hold up my heavy body during the birth and pushing part. I know being in the water would have made that part easier.

My feet were resting in puddles of blood. Catherine cleaned between my toes when she gave me the sponge bath after the birth. I felt Adelaides fingers tickle my feet as soon as she came out. I remember her looking so different than I thought she would. She seemed so big, her eyes were swollen, her head wasn't very pointy, she was slimy. her cord was so short and skinny, and Myles was so gentle when he cut it, afraid it would hurt her. This is all so personal, amazing the things we post online!

Day 2

Today Regina, the baby nurse came by to check on Adelaide and I for our 24 hour exams. It's so nice to have them come over to our house instead of us having to go out. This allows us to lay in bed for a few days and not have to go anywhere. Adelaide weighed 8 lbs and 4oz today. I also got to take my first shower since the birth (although I didn't get to wash my hair yet =( I get too dizy when I stand up for too long. Our friend Kerry came by and brought the BEST split pea soup I have ever tasted. Our friend Frances also came by when she got off work to meet the baby.

Day 1 with Adelaide

The midwives left around 5:30 this morning and we tried to rest. Myles had to run to 7 eleven to get some Tylenol for me, as we didn't have any. We were also told we needed to wake her up after 4 hours to make her eat again, so Myles set the alarm clock. I don't think we slept, but laid there in bed talking about all that had happened. We tried to wake Adelaide up after 4 hours, but she was so sleepy. She didn't want to wake up. Finally after about 6 hours we got her to wake up and eat. She was still so sleepy. Later Myles went to the grocery store to get us some food. I don't know how he was sane enough to drive after being awake for so long! It was at this time that I realized we hadn't even checked the baby's diaper. Oh my gosh, what kind of mother was I already to have her go for so long without even checking!! So I checked her diaper and she had meconium stuck to her little skin, dried on there solid as a rock! I wasn't able to even sit up, nor even attempt getting out of bed, but managed to get her cleaned up and a new diaper on the poor thing! I tried the cloth diaper but didn't have the patience to figure it out at this point so just used a disposable. Myles made us sasauge and eggs around 5 pm for breakfast. This was an exciting first day!

Adelaide's Birth Story

Adelaide
8 lbs 6 oz
20 inches tall
Born at 1:27am on November 18th, 2008

Adelaide’s birth story

I had no idea I was going to go into labor on Sunday night. Sunday was a normal day, I went to yoga, the record store, and felt great all day. I was sure my baby was going to be late….

I went to bed around 11 that night, only to be woken up at 12:31 with what felt like strong period cramps. I feel like I knew right away that this was different. I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions for a few weeks, so imagined that the contractions would feel the way they did…but they were much lower and different. Right away I started to time them because I couldn’t sleep, and they were 5 minutes apart. I got up, went to the bathroom, and then woke up Myles to tell him. I wasn’t sure if I was really in labor or not and wanted me to go back to sleep. I tried to sleep but there was no way. We got up and came downstairs. I tried to lay on the couch or in my rocking chair, but I couldn’t sit down. I need to stand up for the contractions.

We called the midwife around 2 am and Nora was the one on call. She listened through one of my contractions and said they would be here later. Her student assistant arrived first around 4 or 4:30. She checked my cervix and I was only 2 cm dilated. Nora arrived a bit later and they set everything up. My contractions continued every 5 minutes and I felt like I was doing a good job dealing with them and felt like I was going to be able to handle the pain. I was doing my best to ask for them to get stronger and longer. I knew that had to happen for my baby to come out and I wasn’t afraid.

The midwifes went and got breakfast and we stayed home, me rocking on the birthing ball or leaning on the couch for each contraction. It was amazing, my need for Myles to be there for each one. If he wasn’t holding my hand or right next to me I was freaking out. I would yell for him if he wasn’t by my side when each contraction would come on. I was tired and resting well between each one, but little did I know, I wasn’t any more dilated than I was when the midwives arrived.

When the midwives returned Myles and I took a walk for a few blocks to get things going. It was rather cold outside, and I felt so vulnerable laboring out in the open world. I was afraid the neighbors would come out and try to talk to me, and I couldn’t stand to hear talking when the contractions were happening. I wanted to be back in my safe warm home, I didn’t like being out there.

When we got back my contractions were still not any closer together. I was tired. Nora then suggested that Myles and I go upstairs and lay down for a nap to see if that would help. It felt nice to lay down, and I would fall deep asleep, and then jump out of bed every 5 minutes to work through the contractions standing up. I could hear them watching Finding Nemo downstairs. This lasted for a few hours.

At around 4 pm (14 hours after labor began) my contractions were now 7 minutes apart. Nora checked me again and found that “nothing had really changed”. She suggested that this may be false labor, and maybe the contractions would fade away completely. I was crushed. I had felt like I was doing so good, and being so strong, and then to be told that nothing was helping….I didn’t really know what to do. I was having waves of emotions sweep over me and just wanted to be sure I was going to be able to be okay at home, and not have to be transferred to the hospital. Nora recommended that we keep resting and sleeping. She said to call them if anything changed, and then packed everything up and left. She advised that the contractions may go away completely, or may come back stronger in the night. She prescribed some anti anxiety drugs for me to take to help me sleep. We had to drain the birth pool because the water would be too cold by the time I was ready to get in it.

At this point I was defeated and just wanted to sleep. I was ready for the contractions to go away and come again another day. So Myles and I set up the bed in the baby’s room and laid down for a nap. Myles accidentally fell asleep (poor guy had been helping me through contractions for over 16 hours at this point, running on only an hour of sleep to begin with). I continued to have contractions and they continued to get worse. At around 7 pm I took the prescription that our friend Frances had picked up for me, and then woke up at 8:30 violently throwing up during my contractions. That was not fun. I talked to our other midwife Catherine (at this point the midwives had switched who was on call for some reason. I’m not sure what Nora had to do, but I had more of a connection with Catherine throughout my pregnancy anyway so was happy to have Catherine on hand.) Catherine said she could come at 10 pm if I wanted her to, but I told her that I wanted to sleep and that I’d call her if things changed. I really was tired of being in labor at this point, and I guess was hoping and assuming my contractions would go away and let me sleep….this was not the case.

So with Myles sleeping and the house completely dark I continued on with my contractions, sleeping in between and then standing in the bathroom door moaning and swaying my way through the contractions. They really hurt, but I was dealing with them and still in denial of what was going on. At about 11:30 I had a really hard contraction and my body began bearing down without my effort. The noises in my body scared me and I knew that things were changing and the baby was coming. At this point I started to get scared because the midwife wasn’t here and I had no idea how long I had until the baby would come. Myles was sleeping so I had no idea how far apart my contractions were, but knew that my body was pushing the baby down with every contraction, and they were getting really really painful. At this point I freaked out and woke up Myles and tried to get the birth pool filled up again. I was running around like a mad woman telling Myles to get water boiling for the birth pool and help me get it filled up. I remember Myles trying to talk to me to get me grounded again, telling me to calm down. I couldn’t take it anymore. I know that they say at some point you loose control and have to let labor take over your body, and that was what I was feeling. I had called Catherine and she listened through a contraction and told me they would be here soon. I was panicking..what if they didn’t make it?

The student Kathleen got here within about 20 minutes of me calling Catherine. She helped me through a contraction and wanted to check my cervix. NO WAY I told her, I was not going to let her check me, as the contractions hurt too bad and there wasn’t enough time between them for her to do what she needed to. I stalled by going to the bathroom, as it really felt like I needed to go at this point. Eventually her and Myles convinced me to let her check my cervix, and she found me to be 8 cm dilated. I didn’t care about numbers at this point…I was in labor land going crazy.

I kept feeling like I needed to go poop and had a few contractions on the toilet. I was scared because I also knew this was normal, and it was really the baby’s head pushing… but I didn’t want to believe it. I started to feel pressure in my lower area and suddenly reached down and felt something coming out of me!!!! It felt like the baby’s head! I started yelling that the baby’s head was coming out as I was sitting in the dark on the toilet. This is right when Catherine got here. I was so relieved to hear her walk through the door! I remember screaming, and she ran in and checked to assure me that it was NOT the baby’s head, but my bag of waters bulging out, as it had not burst yet.

“Where do you want to have your baby?” Catherine asked as we sat in the dark bathroom, me on the toilet and her kneeling down in front of me. This question was something that I was not ready for, as I planned to have my baby in the birthing pool in the living room and THAT is where I wanted to have her. There was only a few inches of water in the birthing pool, it was not an option. I hadn’t thought of a back up plan. I had no idea where I wanted to have the baby. “Come in to this room, you don’t want to have the baby in the bathroom do you” Catherine was saying to me. I knew I didn’t want to have the baby in the bathroom, but was so convinced that I needed to use the toilet still, I refused to get up. “Okay then” Catherine said as she drug the chucks pads into the bathroom on the floor to prepare for me to deliver. Somehow (and I am so thankful) she talked me into getting on the bed in the baby’s room right outside of the bathroom door. My baby wouldn’t be born in the bathroom.

I was on my hands and knees on the bed. I’m not sure if Catherine told me to be like that, I think it was a decision my body made for me, as I didn’t want to put any pressure on my lower half. The contractions hurt more than anything I can describe with words, and the sounds my body made by grunting and moaning surprised me. I felt like I was yelling at the top of my lungs, the pain was unreal. I could feel the baby’s head come down, and then go back again with the next contraction. I didn’t know if I was going to make it. I felt like all of my nerves were at their very peak, I could feel everything, and all of the sounds seemed so loud, all of the lights seemed so bright (and there were no lights on in the room). I felt Catherine’s finger go in to be sure the baby didn’t have a cord around her neck. I felt myself tearing…yet each contraction was so painful I didn’t know if it would be worse to feel myself tear wide open, or deal with another contraction. I cold hear Catherine saying “come on, push your baby out”. Myles was telling me to push as well, and that I was doing a really good job. It really helped to hear that I was doing a good job, as I didn’t feel like I was. I couldn’t believe I was doing what I was. And I was pushing, but not very hard at first because of the tearing. Finally I gave it all of my strength, and one extra push once the contraction started to go away, and I felt her head, then her shoulders, then her arms and legs all pass through me. I felt everything. It didn’t feel good, but I’m so happy that I actually did it, and got to experience life so real and raw. There is no moment that I want to keep with me more than this one.

She landed by my feet, and her cord was so short so I couldn’t grab her. They helped me turn over and sit normal and then cleaned her so I could see if she was a girl or a boy. I was asking Catherine to tell me what she was, but she wouldn’t…she said I had to look myself. As soon as I saw she was a girl I looked up and told Myles, he had tears running down his face. What a proud daddy, and I’m sure he was overwhelmed with what had just happened as well!

I couldn’t hold her up to my face right away because her cord was so short, but I held her to my belly to keep her warm and love her. Her eyes were SO wide and just stared at me as if she knew me and recognized me. These are the magic times that you can only know when you have your own baby. It was amazing. Myles took what is my favorite picture of her, right after she was born, and then he cut the cord while I held her in my arms right after the picture was taken. We were no longer connected physically, her life on her own would now begin. I now had to endure what felt like about 2 hours of getting stitched up. The tearing I felt really happened…along with some other not so pleasant issues.

Looking back I feel like my birth was chaotic, a bit lonely at times, and possibly a lot harder that it needed to be. I think it’s because once I got to a place of panic in my head, I was never able to balance myself again until after Adelaide was born. Either way I know that I was strong, and endured sensations that many people aren’t willing to face. I know that I brought my baby girl into this world in the best way that I knew how, and she was so healthy and so am I, and that is what really matters. I would never change my decision to have my baby at home, and plan to do the same if we have more. I just hope next time we can get that birth pool filled up in time to get in there are relax once the going gets tough. I wouldn’t change this story to be any different, as it’s the story that brought me the most precious gift life could have ever given me! I know that this was THE hardest day I have ever had, and probably ever will have, but it was so worth it, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat!

I'm still pregnant

Yes, baby is still keeping warm and cozy in my womb. I felt better today than yesterday. I went to my yoga class and it was amazing. I wonder if I will have a baby by next weeks class, or if I will be able to go to yoga? My teacher played a really good cd by Krishna Das, so I decided to go to the record store after class to get one of his cds because I feel like playing it when I'm in labor might help me to relax and focus on my breath. His voice is really amazing and relaxing. If you want something nice to fall asleep to....this might be it! I love yoga, not just for how it makes my body feel, but how it lifts my spirits and gives me time to be thankful to my baby and this amazing journey we have been on together. At the end of each class we all close with 3 "om's". I wonder what that sounds like to the baby to hear all of us mommy's chanting together? We do one for ourselves as mothers, then one for all of the babies, then one for all of the mothers and babies in the world. For this part I always try to think of the mothers in Africa and other far off places in the world struggling to survive. I even think of the mother animals like the mother Polar bears or Orangatanges I have seen on tv (I know I'm crazy and emotional these days). For some reason that part always makes me get teary. Then we put one hand on our heart, and one hand on our belly, and take a few breaths to thank our baby and the journey we are on together. It's a precious time of the week for me =)

Nights are getting harder

Last night I had to get up 4 times to pee. I never went back to sleep after I got up at 3:11 am. I just didn't even feel tired, but layed in bed resting and waiting for morning. For some reason the nights are a little more scary than the days? Now I feel like I am going to get sick. Maybe I need a nap, or maybe I need to go buy a diaper pail and waterproof matress pad so I feel ready? This is getting a little harder by the day and night...but I know it won't be too long now. I'm still enjoying being pregnant while I can.

Self Portraits of a soon to be mommy

This is what I get to do when I stay home all day waiting for my baby to come.

39 week appointment

We had our appointment yesterday with Catherine and she thinks I'm getting ready to have this baby soon. Here are her clues:
a: I keep having hot flashes (hormones)
b: I'm feeling much more grumpy than usual (hormones)
c: Myles thinks I'm acting like I'm PMSing (hormones)
d: I'm not really sleeping as well anymore
e: the baby's head is tucked WAY down in there now.

I don't want to feel hormonal. I want to go into Labor in a great mood with my head on my shoulders straight! I guess we don't really get to choose these things though, and it's the hormones that make labor begin, so it's going to be up to me (and my birth team) to keep spirits high and not be a grump. I don't think I'm really that bad, even when I am grumpy, so we will be okay. We stil have 5 days until my actual due date, although the 18 week ultrasound re-predicted for it to be today...I guess we will see!? I could go on like this for almost 3 more weeks, so I'm not going to get anxious. It's just really weird having no idea when it's going to happen, but that it might happen anytime.

38 and a half weeks

I'm starting to look a little tired I think. Myles took these pictures today (and one last night). I think we are done growing for now, this baby is going to have to fit out some how!!!

38 weeks and we have our Glider!!

Thank you so MUCH to Myles mom Joan, we got the glider and ottoman that we really really wanted. We special ordered it so that the wood and fabric would be of our choice, and it looks so good! The glider is extra tall and comfy, so you can basically sleep in it if you want to. It also reclines which seems to be a huge bonus. I know we will spend hours upon hours in that chair, and I'm so thankful to have it!

As for me and how I'm feeling? I'm feeling really good. It has seriously been the most beautiful Autumn that I can remember (other than the one I spent in the Czech Republic). Portland is so beautiful, our yard is amazing. I'm pretty lazy now that I don't have to work...usually staying in bed until 10 or 11 and then not doing much after that either. Yesterday I went to the outlet mall to get some last minute baby stuff I thought we needed...but they are more expensive than the normal stores so I didn't get much. It's hard to stand up for more than about 15 to 20 minutes at a time, although I know the exercise is good. I'm still doing prenatal yoga on Sundays. It helps a lot, especially with bonding with the baby...and centering my own mind and self for labor and parenthood. I hope I can continue to grow in my yoga practice, and it doesn't get left behind once I'm a mommy.

Today I'm washing all of the baby stuff. Blankets are in there right now, and then I'll start on the clothes. I don't know what I will have to do once everything is all ready except for wait. I don't want to be inpatient, so I'm trying to put off what I can while I can =)

Yay for America

Yesterday was election day and I was pretty nervous all day. It's amazing how one day can change history, and the way our country is viewed forever. My dad is VERY Republican, so that makes discussing any of this with him very hard. As soon as it was announced that Obama had won enough electoral votes and was going to be our next president, fireworks started going off all over our neighborhood. Families came out into the street banging pots and pans and yelling Obama's name. It was simply amazing to feel like such a part of something so big. I must say I have never felt so much weight be lifted from my shoulders, and my spirit when I found out that Obama has won. And not only won, but by a lot. It gives me faith in this country. It makes me know that I will feel safe to travel the world again without people wondering what is wrong with our country, and why we have become what we have. It gives me faith that the planet might get another chance before the oil industry destroys everything...that my baby might get a chance at fresh air and water for it's lifetime. Most of all it makes me proud to bring a baby into a world where racism has a chance at ending. My baby won't know a world where there was never a black president. It makes me feel relief for the family's who have children fighting an endless war. It makes me happy to know that the richest of the rich that have been getting a free ride for the past 8 years are finally going to have to cough up some taxes and pay their share of the fortune that this country is able to create. That the gap between the rich and poverty might start to shrink a little so that we don't have a class system similar to Mexico, and other countries with extremely corrupt governments. I feel like our country is young again, and there will be a new excitement for what we can do, and options that we have. Elderly people might have a chance to afford their medical costs again, and the rest of the world will get to see that it's not us....not the people, but the government that has done so much harm to the entire world. We now have to pay for it...but at least there is an end in sight. I'm glad to see that the people that voted Bush into his second term have realized the mistakes he has made, and there are enough of them ashamed of their past decision to try to make things right again. Leaving office with the lowest approval rating of any president since they have kept track is a disgrace, and I hope he has to pay, either here on our earth, or up in his heaven.

Halloween at our house - it's Autumn!!

Another home visit and Refinance!!

Today we had our home visit with Catherine, our other midwife. It was really relaxing being at home, and I was glad to be able to talk about the contractions I've been having since Monday, as well as labor and where we will set up the birth pool ect. She wanted to check my cervix to see if I was dialiating, and found that I am dialated about 1 cm and about 50% effaced. She said that I'm not in "pre labor", but it sounds like this baby might come a little early...maybe. The baby's head is down in my pelvis now, she said at about a -2 station. Everything looks good and seems to be moving along, so we will be parents before we know it! Myles video taped the heart beat so you can hear it!! This is me laying on my bed while Catherine listens and counts the beats. After the appointment we went to sign the papers on the refinance on our house! We have been working on it since August. I learned so much when we bought our house, so did lots of research and talked to a LOT of lenders, before we decided to go with our very own credit union. We landed are GREAT interest rate and a fixed loan so everything is safe now...and our payments even went down a little! We have our property taxes paid for the year, as well as our home owners insurance...so the ducks are in a row finally!! One less thing to worry about =)

Revival Road

Tim Barry from Avail, Chuck Ragan from Hot Water Music, Austin Lucas, Ben Nichols from Lucero and John Ghaunt


We went to see some of our favorite musicians EVER play music together at an amazing show at the Hawthorne Theater tonight. It really was one of the best shows ever, and lasted over 4 hours straight with no breaks between! They all took turns, and played a bunch of songs together as well...amazing! I found a place to sit right in front of the stage so I didn't have to stand up, but was clapping and dancing in my seat and began to get braxton hicks contractions. Maybe it was my singing?? Either way, the contractions lasted all night, coming about every 10 minutes and sometimes even less! I really thought labor was starting in the middle of the night. The next day they continued all day, but never got any stronger, so it must just be practice labor. This baby might be here before it's due date...I'm doubting now that I will make it to Grandpa's birthday on November 24th, which I was really wishing for. I know it's the baby's choice and will be here when it's ready =)

Baby's room -a work in progress

Yesterday Ezra and Frances came over to help Myles move some of the baby furniture into the room. The furniture looks even more beautiful than it did in the store. We are so lucky that my dad helped us out with the cost of it. It's absolutely perfect! We are waiting to put the crib in until we actually need it...as we plan on having baby with us for a while. For now we are keeping the computer desk in here with everything else. The room feels really small, but it's nice to have a good place to put everything. We still need to figure out what will go on the walls and that kind of stuff, but you can get an idea of the changes.

Here is the before picture -


And the current pictures -